Acceptance of the dissonance

I had to think about power tonight as the day of March 8 approaches.

Women and power. And wider, humans and power.

This is an essential question for me, since one of the pillars of my vision is to consider that power must be distributed.

Only, if I believe very strongly in this for others, I still have trouble grasping my own power myself.

As you may have noticed, my YouTube channel is not launched.

I have an incessant inner dialogue, because I don’t want to.

I am not ready to expose my ideas any further, and I need the conditions for a lasting project.

You have to understand it.

If not, I could well start a conflict with you.

But, the reality is that I am in conflict with myself.

With my ambitions and basically my desire to grab my power.

If you push me, know the confit amplifies. There is no other way than to wait for it to resolve.

And, my inner conflict tells me this:

  • You must be a pretty girl, well behaved and, reasonable. The angry, frustrated and sad girl, we don’t like her, she’s ugly and she doesn’t match you. If people see the other “you”, they might stop liking you altogether.
  • You’re crazy! Why expose yourself to the public, why these risks? You must be egocentric to think that you will have the slightest impact around you? What makes you think people will even follow you? And if on top of this, they follow you but it does not work?
  • You must not love your children very much if you are always looking for happiness elsewhere, always for more impact. Can’t stay where you are? At home, like the others? Why always run around, wanting to prove yourself, haven’t you had enough?
  • Why are you talking about love when you don’t know what it is. When you’ve never said yes for life, thinking love is a trap which locks you up and, prevents you? Why this need to rebel and be different? You need fights but you are tired. Can’t you do like everyone else, following to find peace?

A girl with paradox. Well, I learnt we all have them.

Making peace with everything we are, including dissonance, is the path to power.

So let me heal from my conflicts which you know is essential.

It will make me grow like the previous ones.

But, I won’t start a war with myself. I know it’s never leading to positive outcomes.

Hence the real heroes are pacifiers. They are like Gandhi or Mandela.

They choose appreciation of human traits, good and bad. which is the only way to peace.

And, they opt for oneness, since being loved for being whole is the magic that turns everything into happiness.

Today, therefore, we might like it to solve our conflicts, whether internal or external. There is way too much violence in our chaotic times.

And, if solving my conflicts is one key to a better future, I will do it. Except that taking my power alone, won’t be as fun as inviting everyone to do the same.

We are not perfect but we are the only species which can heal this planet.

So let me call this world to master conflict. It is essential to a wonderful collaboration culture and future. In fact, it is indispensable, if we don’t want to die too soon, and/or alone.

Photo by Evgenia Basyrova on

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