(4/5 of my love series)
When the COVID hit, I immediately understood that I had to make the best of this crisis to reinvent everything, in one way or another. I felt equipped for all of this.
This crisis is the umpteenth crisis I have been through in 43 years. Guess what, I’m super sensitive.
And that’s probably why, even better, than others, I found myself stuck in the vicious circle and, among the first with the keys to getting out of it.
What the vicious circle meant for me…
Since the world hasn’t been in good shape, I have not been very good either. The lightness, the sweetness of life, all that I did not really know.
I thrive in isolation. I am my best friend in all different ways, including in conflicts.
It must be felt how much I fight, how deep down it can look wounded.
Sometimes, when I am out with friends, and especially when I love it, I feel like I am wasting my time and could better learn new things from books instead.
I am not only the social animal people want to see in me.
When worry, anxiety, guilt for not doing enough, it’s all very familiar.
So whatever I do, whoever I am, I feel I am never helping enough. The confrontation with my truth is harsh. But I am not here for your pity, just to take more responsibility.
And, only yesterday, I was talking to you about the usual, telling you that only habits change, human beings never change.
But there is something we can act upon.
And for instance, for me, it’s this habit of self-destruction. I wallow in darkness and depression. I find it deep, it takes me on a journey far from a reality that lacks it.
So for once if I choose love, then for me it will consist in getting out of this state in which I have so far flourished.
Choosing love for good…
And, if love meant that I was better first so that you were better later?
And, if my responsibility was above all that. To finally be able to focus on me, really and sincerely. You know the story of the mask on the plane that you have to put on before the children to then be able to save them…
But the serious part, I did it, now it must be fun and light.
This final article in this series which I will publish tomorrow will conclude with what I understood about love, and why I am convinced that this is what will save me, as well as us.
Not just any love though. The one that will give me the courage to face who I really am, my flaws, my wants, the essential.
So, let’s meet for the final note in this series tomorrow. It will serve as the basis for the movement’s main principles, clarifying the rules of the game as well as key expectations, in terms of mindsets and behaviours.
There is no other aim for me than our collective healing to leave great gifts behind to the next generations. And If I have to put myself totally out there for this, sharing my struggles openly and without shame, then I will.
But my commitment today is to follow the path of love, so it should all feel better in the coming days and weeks. I hope you will make a similar choice by joining this adventure, which will not be mine but definitely ours. Tomorrow, will be my tribute to all amazing people I met who gave me the keys for love. So expect a long article…