(5/5 of my love series)
In a hyper-individualized world, self-destruction is a choice of love. This has been my belief so far. And then one day I noticed self-destruction in you, my dear children.
What I had always tried to hide from you, I saw it in you, in your behaviour.
First, through your choices of food and then activities, and suddenly I ran out of arguments. Why should I prevent you from doing something that to me seemed so far virtuous?
If we don’t need a devil on earth, since humans are already there, you my little humans, what is my ambition for you?
Time to demystify the myth. No hero will protect you from yourself.
Neither your mother, nor your dad.
And here I am confronted with delusion and despair, why would I have any better hope for you, if I don’t for me and our peers?
And so to help me on this journey of love, because I cannot let you without a hand, here are gathered for you my best 7 lessons.
It’s a form of tribute to all persons in my life who tried their best to stay on the difficult and challenging path of love. Yet the most rewarding of all.
And it’s an encouragement for you my dear children to choose to do good, in spite of the “only” options available, and to believe that you can form any community of love, wherever you find yourself.
With these 7 lessons, I hope you will never like your mother, fall in despair or delusion. We can do better. We can become an exceptional civilisation.
- Love is unconditional, not blind. Frequent, clear, and transparent communication, as well as culture of feedback is essential. The shamelessness disturbs but it is the key. Without vulnerability no love is possible. The sooner things are on the table, the better. Love is not a battle of strength or posture. Love is necessarily collaborative, making the most of the leadership in all, without any domination.
- Love is never mute in front of bad behaviours. No limits equal no care. When distractions compete, focus is the choice of the heart. Masters of attention own their will and spread the wisdom of love.
- When love is tough, there is lack of self-love. So, leave the space, let love grow on the other side first. Do not stay at the risk of becoming another of their victims. If you love them, leave them, that’s their chance to change. Rumi was telling us “If I love myself, I love you. If I love you, I love myself”. Always choose to make gifts of love. Leave those who don’t self-love yet. They have to internalise self-care. I know how hard it is, but it is key to make them adaptable and resilient in chaotic times.
- And so gifts of love are free… And if you learn how to give fully, then you will soon experience what it is to receive fully. One cannot go without the other, but the source can always be different. In fact, from my experience, it is often different. Love cannot do without diversity. Hence, it cannot do without admiration as well, and I understood I needed to love twice more than I am loved.
- Love is neither control nor ownership. Real love has a lot to do with letting go. Nurturing love is what you want, and there is no better recipe than just a few drops of water on a regular basis, with beauty and grace. Consistency in the feelings, in the gesture, and, in the presence.
- Those who choose to be and do good will be the most tested. And you will see that many people around you will want you to live the same poor life, with poor choices that reflect theirs. Your courage might provoke their fears and anxiety, and it should tell you that they do not know what is love. Love is blessing, encouragement, support, and trust… Do not be distracted by those who don’t back you up in all your initiatives. It’s not you that counts. Same if they don’t give you constructive feedback and always tell you how great you are, you do not count as well. Remember love is unconditional, not blind.
- You do not need better glasses or a louder voice. You need a more open heart and fewer fears. Every time you address a new fear, you give a chance to a better and more profound silence, that is the ultimate stage of love. You know you are with the right one, the day you can cope with your own silence, and theirs, and remain calm, not only with your own void but with the void of two. And do not forget, love needs stretching away from comfort, so love needs courage and adventure.
From these 7 lessons, I want us to draw the main principles for the movement. And I will summarize them in this way:
- Equality / humility
- Distributed leadership & conscientiousness
- Open transparent and clear communication as well as culture of feedback
- Collective organic journey of growth / Appreciation of diversity / Regular acts of nurturing
- Firmness with limits
- Courage and adventure / innovation
Big thanks to my dear friends, who accompanied me on this journey. You know who you are.
I think we have everything we needed to prepare for the movement. So I just have two words to say “let’s go!”.